No room for my roomie

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No room for my roomie

Sadie Scott, Editor-in-Chief

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“Dear Sadie,

How do I tell my friend that I don’t want to room with them in college?”


The end of senior year is coming up fast, bringing a lot of change and a lot of anxiety. I think if you’re going to tell your friend you don’t want to room with them, you need to do it very soon. They may be scared of leaving high school and going to college and may think that rooming with someone they’re really close with will help, but that’s not always true. Going to college will still be a big, scary change, and being with a friend won’t erase that completely.

Rooming with someone you’re so close to could do more harm than good. You both might discover, as the year progresses, that your friend has changed. After all, you aren’t in high school anymore. Having to see each other far more often, as in every day instead of just a little more than the school day, you may grow tired of each other and start to get into fights frequently.

Changing roommates in the middle of the year, if it comes to that, seems far more hard, painful, and awkward than going right in with someone new. Rooming with someone new from the start can make creating a social life a little easier; taking the risk and jumping right into something new can sometimes help you get over your initial fear and shyness much faster. Plus, you’ll already have met someone new as soon as you move in. Rooming with your best friend, you may find yourself too comfortable. You may only hang out with them and not explore making new friends or joining new circles.

I think if you want to tell your friend you don’t want to room with them, it’s best to just be honest. List any of the reasons above, if those are the concerns, but if it’s something deeper, it’s better to be real with them than to have them find out the truth later. If they really are your friend, they will understand your side. If they’re going to hold this over your head forever or drop the friendship because of it, maybe you’re better off without them anyway. Whatever you do, don’t wait. If you’re making other plans for rooming, it’s only fair that you give them the time too.

Thanks for writing!

-Sadie Scott

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